Jenny McCarthy Lost Her Wedding Ring When She Was Banging Mahky-Mahk’s Brother On Their Wedding Night (UPDATE)
UPDATE: During an interview with Wonderall, Donnie Wahlberg pretty much admitted what anyone with 1/2 a brain already knows – that Jenny McCarthy is a lie-telling asshole and lied about losing her ring:
“We lost it for about two hours. We found it. It was in the bed sheets. It was off because the diamonds scrape a little bit and she doesn’t like scraping me and it was private time. She thought she put it on the nightstand. I thought she put it in the bed and sure enough it was in the sheet. My detective work from ‘Blue Bloods’ panned out and it was down in the laundry room of the hotel. I literally tore the hotel room apart and I went down to hotel security and they went down to the laundry room and found it.”
During an interview with Good Day NY (via UsWeekly) America’s slutty fart Jenny McCarthy admitted that she no longer has the hitchin’ ring Mahky-Mahk’s fire-starting tough-hangin’ brother Donnie Wahlberg slipped on her hand only 17 days ago, and it’s not because she had to pawn it to pay for her new tits. Jenny says that shortly after her pre-divorce ceremony, she took her new future ex-husband back to the hotel so she could play Singled Out with Donnie’s dick. Unfortunately the 2-carat cubic zirconia on Jenny’s hand became an unwanted third, so she placed her wedding ring on a room service tray and they got to making greasy Wahlburgers. It wasn’t until much later that she realized that room service had mistaken her wedding ring for a piece of crumpled tinfoil (probably) and threw it away:
“I’ve already lost the ring. We were staying in a hotel and you can’t have a wedding ring on… it’s a little hard to get romantic with diamonds on your hand. I removed it and put it on the room service table and they came and turned down the room and the ring was gone… But you know what though? If you’re gonna lose your wedding ring, you should lose it that way.”
Yeah, that ring wasn’t “accidentally” taken by room service; it wasn’t taken by anyone. That ring left on its own! Jenny’s wedding ring realized it was going to spend the next 3 months (or however long their marriage lasts) two feet away from Jenny’s shit-spewing talk hole, so it decided to make a break for it when it saw that it had a chance.
And can you blame it? It probably spent most of its childhood dreaming of the day it would be placed on the opulent finger of an exquisite beauty, like Angelyne or Bruce Jenner. Then when its time comes to be pulled out of a velvet box, it gets slid onto the greasy finger of a piece of obnoxious vaccination-denying rubber-titted trash. How repulsive!
But what do we have here? It’s Jenny McCarthy walking around New York yesterday and – MIRACLE OF MIRACLES – it looks like Jenny found her long-lost wedding rings! Or she’s a liar and she never lost them in the first place. Yeah, that one.