And so it begins. Or should I say Bey-gins? NO I SHOULD NOT. On Friday night during one of the last On The Run concerts in Paris, Jay-Z changed the lyrics to the song “Beach is Better” in a way that made it seem like he was trying to subtly announce that he had busted a bareback camel nut into his wife and that Beyoncé was pregnant with the second chosen Illuminati child. Of course, the internet lost its damn mind; FEMA and the Red Cross are still trying to clean up the mess left when the Bumblebeys heard the news and their heads exploded, Scanners-style.
And now Beyoncé has thrown her wig into the rumor ring. A black-and-white photo of Bey and Jay Camel was posted to Twitter yesterday (via Daily Mail) showing the happy couple celebrating the end of the On The Run tour in Paris with glasses of what looks to be champagne. If it’s actually champagne, then this might be Bey’s way of telling us she doesn’t currently have a case of fetus fever. But the picture is in black-and-white, so we have no idea if it’s actually champagne! It could be water! It could be apple juice! It could be a glass full of low-viscosity wig glue! We have no idea. JUST TELL US WHAT YOU’RE DRINKING, BEYONCÉ!
Of course, nothing is truly officially until an angel descends from heaven to place a God’s Choice baby halo around her stomach. So until then, let’s say she’s not pregnant, just “prepping her pillows”, so to speak.
And here’s Bey and Jay keeping the rumor mill churning by going out for dinner at the Jules Verne restaurant in the Eiffel Tower last night. Oh look, what do we have here? Fancy dinner? Romantic setting? Jay-Z with his camel hoof around Beyoncé’s shoulder? Beyoncé covering her stomach with her purse? YAWN. Even Blue-Blue is like “It’s getting surf-boring, mommy.”