I know – I really should have said “A-List human flamingo Frankie Grande’s mega mega popstar sister“, because otherwise how would you know who I was talking about?
Mayim Bialik recently wrote a blog post for the Jewish parenting blog Kveller (via HuffPo) titled “The Problem With That Giant Billboard Of Ariana Grande” where she came for professional sexy baby Ariana Grande Latte (seen here looking like a come-to-life Bratz Babyz doll) and a billboard featuring Ariana in her underwear. Blossom decided to call a preschool-looking stripper out after she drove past a black and white billboard for Ariana’s new album My Everything with her sons in the car and noticed that their poor innocent eyes were being assaulted by a giant picture of Ariana’s half-naked toddler bod:
“Based on the billboard, she sells lingerie. Or stiletto heels. Or plastic surgery because every woman over 22 wishes she has that body, I’m sure. Why is she in her underwear on this billboard though? And if she has a talent (is she a singer?), then why does she have to sell herself in lingerie? I mean, I know that society is patriarchal and women are expected to be sexy and sexually available no matter what we do in society, but I guess now I need to explain that to my sons?”
She also took a prude-swipe at a billboard for Showtime’s Masters of Sex and a steamy Levi’s commercial that played in the theater before a screening of Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. Of course, you can read everything Blossom said over at Kveller.com, or you can save yourself a couple minutes and watch this clip of Helen Lovejoy instead (it’s pretty much the same thing).
But I still don’t understand why Blossom had such a hard time explaining that billboard of Ariana Grande in her Huggies Lil’ Hoochies to her sons. Aren’t little kids always stripping down to their underwear? Just say it’s an ~artsy~ picture of a 4-year-old playing dress-up in mommy’s high heels. And if they don’t believe that, then tell them it’s an ad for no-tears toddler shampoo. Trust me, it will work – Ariana is like 90% hair.