Every morning when I wake up, I pray to Buddha, Allah, Yahweh, Bea Arthur and all of the other Gods to please gift the world with a new Pia Zadora story. But I want them to gift us with a GOOD story about Pia Zadora like how she realized she made a terrible mistake by getting GLOW (Glamorous Ladies Of Wrestling) canceled and is righting that wrong by bringing it back. Or a story about how Hollywood has realized that Hollywood needs more Pia Zadora and has greenlit a gigantic-budget sequel to The Lonely Lady. Pia Zadora is in the news again but it’s not for something good. Damn you, Gods!
The Las Vegas Sun says that America’s most underrated jewel of pure glamour is laid up in ICU at University Medical Center in Las Vegas with a head injury and a compound fracture of her right ankle. Pia’s husband Mike Jeffries says that she had bleeding on her brain and she’s been in and out of consciousness, but she’s doing better. Mike says that Pia was left in a bad way after falling out of a golf cart near her home in Summerlin, NV on Thursday evening. Pia was thrown from a golf cart driven by her 17-year-old son Jordan as he made a sharp left turn.
Jordan has been arrested and the cops have destroyed the golf cart, burned it and its ashes are currently lying in a pile on Pia’s driveway for people to stop by and spit on it for playing a huge part in this sad event. No, none of that happened, but it should happen.
Pia was in the news last year when she got arrested for allegedly choking Jordan and scratching her stepson’s face during a messy fight. And now she’s in the ICU because Jordan made a sharp left turn. Hmmm, I hope the FBI has dispatched Detective La Toya to Summerlin, NV, because she really needs to get to the bottom of this.
Pia was supposed to perform at Piero’s Italian Restaurant this weekend, but that show’s been canceled, obviously.
I will spend my entire Saturday praying in front of my Pia Zadora saint candle while listening to her entire discography. Pia needs to be one hundred percent again so she can keep serving up hotness like this: