Poor poor precious human Fabergé egg Kanye West. While playing a game of basketball with his entourage (“Shirts vs. Delusional Egomaniacs!“) yesterday in Australia, Kim’s Kurrent Husband got a headache. A HEADACHE! Delicate hand-carved crystal butt plug Kanye Kardashian got a headache! Except he got scurred it might be something more than a headache, like his last rational brain cell trying to escape from the non-stop fuckery that happens inside his head, so he hauled ass to the emergency room.
Australian media originally reported that Kanye Kardashian had suffered a seizure or seizure-like symptoms, but E! News says it’s not that dramatic. Basically, bitch had a bad headache. Doctors gave him an MRI and told him he was fine and that he just had a migraine. I know migraines are NO JOKE, but this is Kanye we’re talking about, so you know that drama queen was probably rolling his eyes into the back of his head and acting like it was his time to go. “Just a second Jesus, I want to say goodbye to my loved ones. Kim, bring me a mirror.”
Kanye is kurrently doing fine; he left the hospital after the doctors gave him the thumbs-up and performed a show later that night.
Obviously Australian doctors are unfamiliar with Kanye’s wife, otherwise they would have known that he wasn’t suffering from merely a migraine. What Kanye was experiencing was the growth of the fame whore demon seed implanted in his brain by Lucifer and Kim Kardashian on their wedding night. Once it reaches full maturity, it will burst forth from its spanx-wrapped cocoon and slowly feast on Kanye’s brain until there’s nothing left but a puddle of cheap self-tanner. The host then becomes nothing more than a drowsy-looking mouth-breathing braindead fame whore like the rest of Lucifer’s drowsy hookers. But I thought Kanye already knew this. Didn’t he get the welcome package from Pimp Mama Kris on his first day?