More details continue to surface regarding the petty 7th grade girl feud between human cellophane-wrapped hard candy Taylor Swift and the Forever 21 version of Jane Lane Katy Perry. According to Page Six, things turned to shit between Kay Kay and Tay Tay when an actual bag of shit came between them, ie. noted shitbag John Mayer. Taylor and John dated back in 2010 when Tay Tay was 19 and John was 32, but he broke up with her to pursue other pussies. This made Tay Tay cry and write “Dear John”, which basically called him a sleazy dirtbag for unwrapping her 19-year-old butterscotch candy.
But this also made John cry, claiming that being dragged in a song by Tay Tay was “really humiliating” and called her a cheap songwriter. When Katy hooked up with John in 2012, sources claim Kay Kay starting making cunty remarks about Tay Tay as retribution. This made Tay Tay pull out her burn book and call Kay Kay a two-faced fugly slut for hooking up with one of her many Aaron Samuels. I mean, she was half a virgin when she met him!
Normally that would be enough for Tay Tay to write a chart-topping diss track, but TMZ says that it wasn’t until Kay Kay started “stealing” Tay Tay’s backup dancers that shit got REAL. It all started several years ago when 3 dancers for Katy Perry found themselves out of a job after her tour ended (the whipped cream tits one, I think), so they picked up work on Taylor Swift’s tour. TMZ claims the dancers told Taylor they wouldn’t be around for the whole tour and wanted a 30-day out in case Katy went back on tour, which she did. So they gave Taylor their 30-days notice that they were leaving. Unfortunately, Tay Tay had become attached to Katy’s dancers and considered them “family” and was super pissed when they told her they were leaving the nest, so she was all “NOBODY QUITS ON TAY TAY, YOU’RE FIRED!”
All this happened more than a year ago, but apparently Tay Tay Butterscotch Sundae holds a grudge like a not-the-one grandma and she wrote a song, “Bad Blood”, about it and gave a Rolling Stone interview about it and will probably make a music video about it showing poor lil’ ol’ Pollyanna Swift getting bullied by a raven-haired 30-year-old woman with double Ds dressed like a budget Nancy from The Craft named “Hatey Scary”. I’m sure you’re wondering why she doesn’t just work this shit out over coffee like a grown woman, but she can’t do that! She “hates confrontation“, remember?
And I’m starting to wonder if Taylor and Katy went to my high school, because this is nearly the exact same fight that happened in the gymnasium between two 9th grade cheerleaders that started with one whipping a Lancome Juicy Tubes at the other one’s face and ended with 7 broken acrylic nails and a pair of falsies getting pulled out.