Uh oh, looks like there’s trouble in the swamp! According to Us Weekly, the Lowered Expectations version of Kim, Khloe Kardashian, and her sleazy Shrek-looking rapper/aspiring fame whore boyfriend, French Montana, have temporarily kalled it kwits on their 8-month relationship. I guess after 8 months of tirelessly working to keep her relationship relevant by getting papped walking in and out of nightclubs and airports with Shrek, Budget Kim is exhausted and needs to take a break. HA! Did you think I was serious? As if Pimp Mama Kris would ever let her hookers take a break from the ho stroll! No, a source claims Khloe wants to take a break because Shrek Montana is apparently a stage-5 clinger:
“They are on a break,” one source tells Us. “The relationship got too heavy and Khloe needed to take a step back. She just wants time apart from him.”
Another insider says the Moroccan-born musician was too “needy” for the reality star. “It grated on her that he became so dependent on her.”
Normally it’s a Kardashian that’s the one doing the soul-sucking, not the other way around. I’m sure that really confused Satan.”I don’t get it! He’s even more desperate to be famous than our own hookers! Kris, are you sure he didn’t accidentally fall out of your snatch 30 years ago?” Oh well, back to the swamp with you, Shrek. Say hello to Don-keh for me!
And speaking of things getting too heavy, here’s Khloe shopping for watermelons (aka “removable fruit-based butt shapers“), then walking around Williams-Sonoma with them stuffed into the ass of her pants: