The Wheatland Music Festival in Remus, Michigan turned into the Beathand Poonsick Festival after Tom Hiddleston made a surprise appearance and everyone immediately dropped whatever they were holding in their hands and started beating off peens and poons (whichever was closest), and all the peens and poons got sick from too much hand-beating. I’m not even sure I know what that means, but basically Tom Hiddleston’s appearance at the Wheatland Music Festival on Saturday probably caused The Fappening 2, because that’s what Tom Hiddleston does.
But he did have a reason for being there besides creating a tsunami of panty pudding. Tom has been practicing his croonin’ in preparation to play county legend Hank Williams in the biopic “I Saw The Light“, so the Wheatland Music Festival was as good a time as any to give everyone a little preview of what to expect. I was skeptical when it was announced that British-born Loki was going to play Hank Williams, and I honestly expecting some Great Balls of Fire-levels of biopic messiness, but his cover of “Move It On Over” is actually pretty good. You can compare it to the original here, and if you really want to feel dizzy, try listening to them at the same time.
Of course, it could still happen. Like Forrest Gump’s mama said: “Biopics are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.” You could either get a milk chocolate caramel (Behind the Candelabra, The Anna Nicole Smith Story) or a stale orange cream (Liz & Dick). But chances are, “I Saw The Light” will be a caramel, if only because it’s illegal to say anything bad about Tom Hiddleston. Even if he throws it on purpose, a la The Producers, reviews will still be like “Tom Hiddleston very sexy as Hank Williams – 5 STARS .”