Open Post: Hosted By Lea Michele Bringing Day-Drunk MILF Realness To The SOA Premiere

September 7, 2014 / Posted by:

The premiere of the 7th and final season of Sons of Anarchy was held yesterday in Los Angeles and the dollar store bottle of imitation Barbra Streisand extract Lea Michele was there to remind everyone that the 7th will definitely be the final season, because the addition of the obnoxious showtune-shouting Rachel Berry from Glee to the cast means they’ve definitely jumped the shark. Actually, I bet that’s how the series ends: Jax Teller and the gang pick up a hitch-hiker who won’t shut up with the Gypsy and they’re like “fuck this” and put themselves out of their misery by driving straight into the mouth of a giant shark.

Anyways, to celebrate being the match that burns the house down, Lea brought sizzling hot “MILF at her son’s parent-teacher meeting” glamour to the red carpet. Lea Michele looks like the prototype for every Real Housewife: a mix of classy-yet-slutty on the body and full-blown crazy behind the eyes. And I know she’s only 28-years-old, but if you told me she’s actually a 46-year-old former stripper/current aspiring Shih Tzu breeder from Arizona who spends her days drinking an entire box of Franzia White while trying to friend every player on her teenage son Jaxxon’s lacrosse team on Facebook, I would believe you.

Here’s more of Lea serving up FACE! BODY! SEXY! as well as everyone else at the SOA 7th season premiere, including a Spencer Pratt-looking Charlie Hunnam (may god strike me down for ever saying such blasphemy), Katey Sagal and her husband, SOA creator Kurt Sutter, Detective Courtney Love looking as fresh and clean as a motorcycle chain, eternally hot slut Drea de Matteo, and Marilyn Manson looking…Marilyn Manson-y.

Pics: Splash

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