And here I am walking to work like a chump! Sure, my commute is less than 60 seconds and involves me crawling from my bed to my desk, but I want to ride to work in a helicopter, dammit! At the very least, I think I deserve a helicopter ride more than Matt Lauer. Still, NBC treats Matt Lauer to a helicopter ride to and from his home in the Hamptons to the Today show up to three times a week, and according to Page Six, he could demand to ride a talking T-Rex to work and NBC would make it happen because they’re so afraid he’ll quit.
A source claims that after Ann Curry’s messy departure in 2012, NBC got scurred that Matt might take his professional sleazy high school math teacher realness elsewhere, so they pretty much agreed to anything during the extension of his contract in June. Matt currently gets $20 million to look smug and check out the asses on the Today show interns, but he also wanted a helicopter to pick him up at his mansion in the Hamptons and fly him back and forth to work, even though he has an apartment in Manhattan that he could stay at. But a rep for Today insists that you don’t hear Matt screaming “GET TO THE CHOPPAH” that often, saying:
“On rare occasions, Matt will fly home, but most of the time you’ll find him stuck in traffic on the Long Island Expressway with everyone else.”
Look, NBC can spend its billions of dollars however stupid way they want, whether it be flying Matt Lauer’s ass back to the Hamptons in a helicopter every night or ordering 36 episodes of Whitney. I”m mostly offended that the helicopter went to Matt Lauer, because if anyone from the Today show deserves to be shuttled around like royalty, it’s the exquisite merlot-stained topaz chanteuse Kathie Lee Gifford! She’s earned that helicopter ride! Not to mention there’s no way she’s ever sober enough to drive herself home from work. Let Kathie Lee’s day-drunk ass get in the choppah!