I know we still technically have 4 months left, but I’m confident in my ability to recognize outstanding achievement in next-level dramatic crazy to declare Sherri Shephed the winner of 2014’s Messiest Divorce. First she makes the mistake of hooking up with an unemployed gold digger named Lamar Sally (a name which has always sounded like a regional chain of discount beauty supply stores). Then she claims Lamar built their relationship on a pile of LIES and she quits that bitch. Then she quits the surrogate carrying her and Lamar’s baby after it’s revealed that Lamar (2014’s Most Shameless Gold Digger) only wanted the surrogate baby to get that lucrative child support cash. Sherri’s split has truly been the definition of the word MESSY. The only thing missing is the appearance of Sherri’s long-lost twin sister Terri and a sinister man wearing a leather eye-patch named “Caboto St. James”, and you’d have an episode of Passions.
Obviously, Sherri wanted to sweep this messy dog dookie of a divorce under the rug before it starts smelling more than it already does, so Radar says that Sherri cut Lamar a check for $100,000, as well as the promise of $3000 a month in child support in an attempt to get him the fuck out of her life. The only problem is she clearly doesn’t understand the level of thirsty gold digging to which Lamar is working, and he turned the money down. Radar also says that Sherri and Lamar have an “ironclad prenup” that denies him from collecting spousal support, but he’s contesting it in a court of law.
Sherri shouldn’t be the least bit surprised that Lamar turned down the cash. Are you new here, Sherri??? $100,000??? You’re dealing with Lamar Sally, the man who hired a surrogate just so he could have a guaranteed check coming his way every month for 18 years; he’s not going to settle for a measly $100,000 and a couple grand every month. Duh! I’m nowhere near completing my PhD in Dirty Digging, but even I know $100,000 is an insult.
And stay tuned for the conclusion of this messy shit show, which will no doubt end with Lamar caught in the middle of a dramatic love triangle between Caboto St. James and Terri.