Excuse me a moment, I just got severely second-hand high from this picture and I need to lay down. Also, is it just me, or is that hot dog cowboy kind of handsome? Hold on I’m totally going to try to get his number.
Miley Cyrus, the perpetually-stoned teenage burnout who used to sniff glue while listening to Phish’s Rift on a Sony Walkman every day in your 10th grade art class, told Australia’s Sunday Night (via The Guardian) that she thinks y’all should just calm the frig down about her constantly shoving marijuana into her mouth hole, because it’s causing her less harm that reading the shit people write about her online. When asked if she thinks smoking as much good shit as she does will someday rot what’s left of the lukewarm bag of Frito pie she calls a brain, Miley responded:
“You know what hurts your brain? Googling yourself. You know what hurts your brain? Instagram. You know what hurts your brain? Reading comments on Facebook. You know what hurts your brain? Reading US Weekly.”
One time I smoked way too much salvia and had convinced myself I’d time-traveled back to a newsroom in 1976 (I might have had a Mary Tyler Moore Show drug trip? Good lord, even my drug trips are lame) and that was the single most fucked up I’ve ever been in my life. When I came to, I was shaking my friend by the shoulder and begging him to tell me what year it was. But time-travel hallucinations are nothing compared to reading the next-level incoherant comments on Instagram. I’m no Bill Nye, but I’m sure that reading word garbage like “U dat uglee THOT bitch i kno u izz TRICKY HO DONT LIE” and “@Beyonce my queen plz check out my cousin she is a stylist who is really much good and talent @Beyonce u shoudl hire her!!!” kills at least 8 times as many brain cells as smoking weed. I feel like that’s why people get hooked on meth; they’re like “Fuck all this reading, just let me smoke the crazy and save myself some time.”