Aaaand I’m back from my vacation in Mehico and yes, I swallowed the tequila worm and sadly no, that’s not a euphemism. Thanks to Allison, J. Harvey and Lahoma for covering for my ass while I spent my mornings flirting with the members of the Mexican Navy who tried to rescue me after mistaking me for a malnourished, beached seal and spent my afternoon writing, “But what about the cum?“, to every goddamn friend who texted me with, “You’re in Mexico? Don’t drink the water!”
There’s no better way to end my first full day back than by posting stunning pictures of the opulent German blossom who bloomed in the Garden of Chola Beauty after Glamberace’s seed was fertilized with Liberace’s tears and a melted Sharpie. Harald Glööckler debuted his new equestrian line (???) at Spoga Horse in Cologne, Germany yesterday. That Maleficent horse he’s posing with was actually a living, breathing, galloping, blood relative of Trace Cyrus until Harald touched it and it turned into pure gold. Even though it’s an inanimate object and its eyes are made of glass, that gold horse still looks shocked to be so close to such understated glamour.