Someone Is Leaking Alleged Naked Pictures Of Jennifer Lawrence And Every Other Famous Chick On Earth
Well, every famous chick on Earth except for Joan Collins, Charo, La Tigresa, Duchess of Alba, Chantal Biya and the Rhubarb Lady (read: all the famous ladies we really want to see topless selfies of). Why is it never Charo and the Rhubarb Lady?!
The Internet has pretty much exploded and it’s a damn miracle that every website hasn’t been obliterated into a million pieces from everyone freaking out over naked pictures of Jennifer Lawrence, Teresa Palmer, Kiki Dunst, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Hope Solo, Kate Upton and others that were splattered all over (NSFW) 4Chan today. The hacker who leaked them claims he’s got a video of JLaw giving a beej and has more nipple pictures of Amber Heard, Ariana Grande Latte, Mary-Kate Olsen, Avril Lavigne, Selena Gomez, Winona Ryder, Hilary Duff, Kaley Cuoco, Gabrielle Union and on and on and on.
Buzzfeed says that the hacker got a hold of all those nudes due to an iCloud leak. Because of the security leak, the hacker was able to hack into a bunch of phones. The hacker allegedly has over 60 pictures of JLaw alone. Victoria Justice is pulling some Blake Lively shit by saying, “It ain’t me,” but Jennifer Lawrence’s rep has pretty much confirmed it’s her in those pictures by telling TMZ that they’ve contacted the authorities:
“This is a flagrant violation of privacy. The authorities have been contacted and will prosecute anyone who posts the stolen photos of Jennifer Lawrence.”
Of course, whores are screaming, “THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULDN’T KEEP PICS OF YOUR PRIVATES ON YOUR PHONE!” You know, I agree. That is why whenever I need to send a trick a naked picture of me, I get one of those street cartoonists to draw me naked and then I mail it to him. The street cartoonists usually make my naked body look better, anyway.
And when I scanned that list, my eyes glazed over and I was overwhelmed with the “mehs” when I didn’t see the names: Anderson Cooper, Prince Hot Ginge, Joe ManJello, Carrot Top, ASkars and Idris Elba.
Oh and you know who’s behind this. I guess Goopy Paltrow has been taking hacking lessons in between her caviar farming classes and getting her anus gold leafed.