Open Post: Hosted By The World’s Saddest-Looking Pussy

August 31, 2014 / Posted by:

You’d think that the world’s saddest-looking pussy would be attached to the crotch of Justin Bieber’s one-night side piece who heard him say, “It’s in balls deep, babe, TAKE IT,” after she said to him, “Okay you can stop pinky fingering me and give me the salchicha already,” but this sad-looking pussy has that sad-looking pussy and all the sad-looking pussies beat.

This is Tucker, an adorable ball of fur who was born with a genetic condition that always makes her look like you on a Tuesday morning after a 3-day holiday weekend. Metro says that Tucker was brought into the Purrfect Pals adoption center Arlington, WA after her human wasn’t able to take care of her anymore for whatever reason. Tucker has a genetic abnormality that causes her face to droop and she bruises easily, so she has to always wear a protective shirt. Tucker’s bio (which has since been deleted) on Purrfect Pals’ site says that even though she’s got a lot of ills, she’s got a lot of love to give and she really loves children. Can’t you tell? That’s her “I really love children” face above.

Tucker came to Purrfect Pals when her owners could no longer keep her. She is a very unique looking cat due to some genetic abnormalities but is very cute and lovable! Because some of her joints are not constructed normally, we have to be careful to provide steps and other  accommodations so she won’t hurt herself. Tucker also has an auto-immune disease that makes her skin very thin and easy to bruise. She also has hair loss because of scabs that she pulls off. We have to keep her dressed in t-shirts to prevent her from doing too much damage to her skin. Tucker enjoys sitting on laps and playing with string toys! She also loves to be pet under the chin and behind the ears and is great with children!

Tucker’s bio went viral a few days ago, so I’m sure she’s already been adopted, because who wouldn’t want a cat who expresses your feelings about most things perfectly.

When last Sunday’s not-so-grand finale of True Blood didn’t end with Vampire Viking King Eric giving full-front while Ginger and my favorite TB character of all-time Randi Sue (aka Louisiana’s reigning back alley slut queen from season 1) worshiped at his feet, you could’ve turned to Tucker making a “Fuck this shit” face and say, “My thoughts exactly, Tucker.” Whenever another Kartrashian post ends up on Dlisted, you can look at Tucker making an “I can’t” face and say, “My thoughts exactly, Tucker.” Whenever you’re in Walgreens buying your usual (Cupcake wine, Milanos, condoms and RID for crabs) and that shower gel theme song from Selena Gomez’s weekday matinee standby Becky G plays for the 10 millionth time, you can FaceTime with Tucker, look at her face and say, “My thoughts exactly, Tucker.”

What also makes Tucker perfect (yes, it took a lot for me to not type “purrrfect“) is that if you’re really a new kind of stoned and don’t want to feel so alone, you can look at Tucker and say, “You’re feeling this shit too, right?” Tucker can look over it OR next level stoned. Grumpy Cat, who?

Tucker also kind of looks like Audrina “Ceiling Eyes” Patridge a little.

opsadcat2

And that might be the greatest compliment that Audrina has ever gotten!

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