Last night in the backyard of a mansion in The Valley somewhere, creepy-faced Bryan Singer dove head first into a pool full of white, barely legal naked twinks and later snorted a lot of coke out of a lot of barely legal twink hole, because that rape lawsuit against him was dropped. Bitch was celebrating. (“Um, so does that mean I can watch Jack the Giant Slayer without feeling a thickness of creepiness covering my skin?” – you “You should feel that anyway, because that wreck is an unwatchable mess.” – the entire world)
The wave of lawsuits against X-Men director Bryan Singer started when Michael Egan sued Bryan and two other Hollywood types (including the dream killer responsible for that horrific He-Man movie that murdered my childhood) for allegedly turning him into their toy and butt raping him from Hollywood to Hawaii starting when he was just 15 years old. Michael Egan was being represented by lawyer Jeff Herman, but things started to fall apart back in May when Jeff asked to be dismissed from the case.
Jeff Herman never said why he wanted to quit that bitch, but a settlement agreement that Michael Egan shat on might’ve had something to do with it. In July, Buzzfeed reported that Bryan Singer’s lawyers agreed to drop $100,000 into Michael Egan’s lap to make the lawsuit go away. Jeff Herman signed the settlement documents, but Michael Egan never did. Michael Egan told Buzzfeed that he’s not going to be muzzled with money.
The New York Post says that after Jeff Herman dropped him, Michael wasn’t able to find another lawyer so he asked to have the case dismissed for now. Yesterday, a judge declared that Michael can drop the case and file it later if he finds a new lawyer to represent him. Bryan Singer’s lawyer tried to get the case dismissed with prejudiced, meaning that Michael Egan can’t re-file, but the judge told his lawyers to go nibble on a bag full of foreskins, because it’s not going to happen.
U.S. District Judge Susan Oki Mollway denied Singer’s request, saying he didn’t prove that Egan’s voluntary dismissal case would damage the director’s reputation, and that the money spent defending himself doesn’t constitute legal prejudice.
“Any alleged damage to defendant’s reputation may well be ameliorated by plaintiff’s voluntary dismissal of the action,” her order
Back in June, Michael Egan dropped his lawsuit against the former Disney executive that he also accused of sexually abusing him when he was underage. That case started to fall apart when the Disney executive’s attorneys pulled out a testimony from 2003 where Michael said under oath that the Disney executive never touched him wrong.
So, Michael Egan could not find one attorney to represent him in a high-profile case that could possibly end in a gigantic settlement? That’s like me not being able to find a dude with a cut dick while using Grindr in a synagogue. Impossible! I wonder if Michael Egan went to Gloria Allred and asked if she’d do it pro bono (which in Allred talk means “for the attention“)? If he did and Gloria looked at his case and said, “Nope,” then I don’t even know what to say. That’d be a first for her.