All together now: The HELL kind of GD rejected Fly Girl outfit is that bitch wearing? Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way…
On Sunday night, the second, third, fourth and final coming of Jesus, Blue Ivy Carter, blessed the VMAs with her holy presence and the halo in the form of a natural afro over her head. Some bitches on Twitter dragged BIC for having natural hair and those people probably woke up with a head full of no hair, because God scalped them all in the night for hating on their successor. One of those bitches was Chris Brown’s on-and-off-and-on-and-off-again trick Karrueche Tran (pronounced: Bitch You Fucking Dumb For Being With Chris Brown).
Riding Fist Brown’s foot long pencil dick led Karrueche to a gig on BET’s 106 & Park. During their wrap-up of the VMAs on Monday night, they did a segment called “The Top Six Things Blue Ivy Thought About The VMAs” and Kar Coochie said this:
“‘I really did wake up like this because my parents never combed my hair.’ Sorry, Blue! I love you!”
The record scratched. The birds flew away. The roaches hid out of fear, because as soon as Kardouchie spit that out, her life became in danger and the Beyhive and the Beygency came after her. But she quickly said that she was only reading from a script and as Billboard points out, the President of Music Programming and Other Shit, Stephen Hill, tweeted a bushel of I’m Sorry mylar balloons and said that they’ve already apologized to Beyonce and Jay-Z.
Last night on 106 & Park there was a stupid, unthoughtful joke made about a young child. We apologize publically to the child’s parents (and have done so privately) and we have taken punitive actions with those responsible. It was very bad judgment and we will serve you much better in the future. Oh, and please don’t hate on Karrueche; it was NOT her fault. We also apologize to her for putting her in that position.
BET also said (no, they didn’t) that they were planning to fire the ho who wrote that joke, but for some reason they can’t find them. That person went missing and we’ll know what happened to them when Beyonce posts another damage control picture on Instagram of Blue Ivy Carter wearing a diamond-covered barrette made out of fingers and a leather dress that’s really human skin.
Karrueche tried to get the Beyhive’s stingers off of her ass by Instagramming a queef stream of sorries:
Past two days have been extremely draining.. As I geared up for a big day for myself – hosting a live show.. I never expected things to turn out this way.. I apologize to any and everyone who felt offended in any way by the comments made by BET executed through me.. I would never disrespect anyone’s child in any way and anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE Beyoncé. My comments have been in complete shambles.. yes I am human too and yes I do make mistakes.. But all this negativity and death wishes are quite a lot.. Definitely a lesson learned from here forth.. Again, on behalf of MYSELF, my sincerest apologies #BeyHive
KarMax is right. The death wishes and throwing balls of hate at her are too much. Why kick a trick when she’s already all the way down? I mean, the poor bitch has to suck on that ass scab’s dick to get just a bit of relevancy.
Here’s Karrueche the moment that she became Beyhive enemy #1 (this week):