According to Us Weekly, reformed life mess Natasha Lyonne and Elisabeth Moss’ ex-piece Fred Armisen have started finger-banging in the communal shower (for the OITNB fans) and/or putting a bird on it (for all 10 of the Portlandia fans). For fans of neither, what I’m trying to say is that these two are together, hump-wise.
An eyewitness says they saw Nicky and Fericito being “very flirty and talking very closely” aka they were (don’t say it Allison) canoodling (damn you) at the Variety/Women in Film Emmy nominee celebration on Saturday. Then on Monday, the two attended the Emmys together and a bunch of after-parties, and another source claims they were linking arms and chuckling. Linking arms and giggling? Oh my god, GET A ROOM.
When Fred Armisen first hooked up with Peggy Olson 1,408 years ago, it was like random had a baby with questionable, but Fred and Natasha make a lot more sense to me. Sure, there’s still an age difference (47 for him, 35 for her) but it’s redundant, because Natasha has the voice of a 58-year-old longshoreman. And sure, Natasha has always given me some gayelle vibes. But they’re both secret weirdos. You know the kind, where they seem like they’re normal on the outside, and then you go to their house and discover they’re into DIY taxidermy or collecting pictures of strangers or they don’t have a toilet? What do you mean that’s never happened to you? You’re clearly not finding the right people on Tinder.