Ireland Baldwin and Angel Haze Are Still Scissoring

August 25, 2014 / Posted by:

Actually, I just saw some vid in which a few surveyed lesbians rolled their eyes at the scissoring assumption. Let me state for the record that just because you’re dykes, it doesn’t necessarily mean your baginas are at sexy cross purposes with each other. It’s a goddamn stereotype and the world needs less of those!

Now that we have that out of the way, judging by their appearance together at last night’s VMAs…uh, wait – what do I call her? I’m talking about the blonde. Hmm. Let’s go with “Instagram star” (?)(I don’t see another occupation anywhere) Ireland Baldwin and hip-hop artist Angel Haze are still scissoring. Hell, judging by the grin on Angel’s chops, her honeypot was already up on Ireland’s face in the limo on the way over. Or that’s the plan for the ride home.

There will probably be a special pullout section in The Independent wherein Angel emphasizes repeatedly and firmly that they are indeed still scissoring. This is not a friends thing. This is a fuck thing. Repeat after her. Watch for it.

These two make for a striking couple. It’s not because they’re gay and interracial. It’s the height difference! It probably takes Angel a full half-hour to get from Ireland’s mouth to her baldwin! They make out, and then Ireland Instagrams the top of Angel’s head going away and down, pulls out a magazine, checks her e-mail and finally receives her angelic pussy visitation. Sometimes it takes longer because Angel stops for a nap in the yawning crevasse between Ireland’s breasts. I don’t know what went wrong between those two, but one of them is holding a serious grudge.

“Rude, thoughtless little pig.” I’m sorry, but you can’t post about Ireland Baldwin without typing that. It’s a rule.

Pics: WENN

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