Chile, I am barely in the door and someone shoots Suge Knight at Chris Brown’s VMAs party! It’s like they knew I was making a cameo here at DListed once again! Why the fuck do I have to do all the heavy-lifting all of a sudden? It’s intimidating! Allison, where are you, girl? Michael K. is off in Cancun adding to his collection of dirty dicks (“acid reflux”, my fat Irish ass – you know dirty dicks are bad for your health) and someone shoots a celebrity and misses Chris Brown!
Death Row Records founder (and longtime walking target) Suge Knight was shot multiple times when someone started firing at Fist Brown’s pre-MTV VMAs kiki at 10OAK in West Hollywood early this morning. Besides Suge, three other people were shot and one is reportedly in critical condition. I would point out that, in a less ridiculous world, this post would be about the poor bastard who is at death’s door as opposed to big ole’ bullet cozy Suge. But I don’t want Suge to get out of ICU and hang my ass over a balcony.
Shots rang out in the packed nightclub around 1:30 AM, sending people dropping their drinks and running for the exits. You can watch the kind of upsetting vid via The Daily Mail below. The genius standing on top of the club banquette yelling at people and making himself an easy target AFTER BITCHES WERE SHOOTING EACH OTHER on the premises is reportedly Breezy. Ugh, keep tempting that fate, Chris.
Things were scary as police arrived, and held guns on the club as party-goers exited with their hands up. Check that out (as well as an incredibly composed Suge getting into a police car):
Despite taking six bullets (!!!), Suge is said to have walked out of the club on his own and waited in that police car for the ambulance to come. As of 5:45 AM, his family sez that he’s out of surgery and recovering in the ICU at Cedars Sinai. He was hit in such popular body parts as the stomach and the arm. So he’s basically a mastodon.
TMZ is also reporting that there was some kind of bullshit at the door earlier in the evening when The Game was denied entrance. He allegedly got in a scuffle with security and left, although HIS security people remained behind. Look, I’m just relaying what I read. I’m sure TMZ isn’t insinuating that people started trying to ice each other over not getting past the velvet rope. That’s a stupid reason to try and kill a bitch. Fucking with someone’s Twinkies, insulting your dog, not changing the channel when anything Kardashian comes on – those are legit reasons to pull your gun out of your handbag.
The Daily Mail claims the shooter was aiming for Brown (there’s a shocker) and was apprehended but who knows cuz’ – The Daily Mail.
It’s disappointing that we as a society can’t have fun or enjoy ourselves without any altercations sometimes. Miss me with the bullshit!!!
— Chris Brown (@chrisbrown) August 24, 2014
US Weekly sez that celebrities who were in attendance last night included “Young Jeezy, Lil’ Twist, The Game, E.J. Johnson, Derek Hough, Mark Ballas, Richard Simmons, and Tyson Beckford.” HAS ANYONE CHECKED ON RICHARD? Is he ok? Holy shit, how could someone wish to do violence when the grand dame of serene glamour was gifting the crowd with his majesty and magic?!? (The fuck was Richard Simmons doing there? Catering?)
Oh, and you can watch ANOTHER video below of Chris driving off in his asshole mobile, and an oddly-enthused-about-bloodshed as well as being shit-cocked Tyson commenting on the evening’s events: