Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 23, 2014 / Posted by:

The most elegant and sophisticated of all jewelery from the 90s, Friendly Plastic!

If you spent a lot of time in the early 90s at Hobby Lobby or Michaels or White Rose (“Sorry, I was too busy being cool and popular, nerd” – You), then you know that crafts in the early 90s were absolutely terrifying and insane. Mop Dolls. Sand Art. Those straw hats with dried flowers and ribbons glue-gunned around the brim that you’d hang on the wall next to a collection of hand-painted ceramic harlequin masks. But nothing could hold a hand-rolled beeswax candle to the exquisite WTF majesty of Friendly Plastic!

Friendly Plastic came in long hard bars that looked like shitty shoehorns in a variety of gorgeous colors ranging from light metallic to dark metallic, and every shade of metallic in between. You’d cut it into shapes, then throw it in some hot water or hit it with a hairdryer and work it into the shape of a puddle of projectile vomit. If you were very fancy, you’d stick on some giant plastic gems with glitter glue into your plastic barf pile, and if you were very VERY fancy, you’d make your puddle of vomit plastic large enough to attach a barrette onto the back so you could wear that shit in your hair.

Friendly Plastic was everywhere in my elementary school, but by middle school, only the teachers were still wearing that shit. Then by high school, Friendly Plastic had pretty much disappeared. But where did it go? Well, it went where all unwanted trends go: FLORIDA! You can walk into any Publix or swap meet and you’ll find at least 10 memaws still rocking Friendly Plastic puke pile pins and earrings and hair clips. And it’s better off there. Only the style vanguards of Florida can appreciate the true beauty and class of Friendly Plastic!

Pic: FriendlyPlastic.com

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