Seen above letting out a post-poot laugh after dropping a pregnancy fart on her husband’s dick, Stacy Keibler birthed out the baby she made with the dude she rebounded with right after she lost her job as George Clooney’s award season escort. Being with George Clooney for so long made Stacy’s ovaries extra hungry so as soon as he pink-slipped her ass, she wrapped her vagine around the first raw dick she saw and humped it until a fetus checked into her womb. That raw dick she humped on belongs to her friend Jared Pobre. Stacy and Jared dated for three months before they made a baby together and they got married four months after that. Bitch took rebounding to the next level.
Stacy announced on her website today (via People) that she and her Mr. Peanut-looking ass husband, whose last name is a Spanish gold digger’s nightmare, are parents to a baby girl they named Ava Grace.
Jared and I have been blessed with the new love of our lives. Ava Grace Pobre was born at home on Wednesday, August 20th. We’ve never experienced a level of joy and happiness like this before! Thank you so much for all of the special wishes and positive energy.
Every time I go out in public, my friends and family refer to me as “you dumb bitch,” because the name fits and because I don’t respond to “Michael” when outside. What’s the point? Every trick is named Michael, so if I turned around every time I heard my name I’d wear out my neck muscles. Since 98% of the American population will name or has named their daughter Ava, Ava Grace Poor will soon know my pain.
Stacy says that she’s never experienced a level of “happines like this before,” but I don’t know if I’d use the word “happiness.” She should’ve used the word “awkward.” Because it was probably really weird when Baby Ava started to come out of Stacy’s body and Stacy grabbed her head while shouting, “Not today! Not today! Clooney doesn’t get married until September. You’re a month early. How am I going to steal his thunder now? Get the hell back in there!”