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August 22, 2014 / Posted by:

Marina Abramopug, the performance artist that not only the art world, but the world-at-large, NEEDS!

James Franco, Lady CaCa and Jay-Z’s homegirl Marina Abramovic is considered the most popular and biggest performance artist today and that’s never made sense to me, because the Porn Iguana is a much more prolific and emotional performance artist and the art world never gives her the credit she deserves! But anyway, in case you blocked it out, a few years ago, Marina Abramovic did that “The Artist Is Present” piece where she sat in a chair and stared deep into the eyes of the person sitting across from her. It was the Ice Bucket Challenge of its time, because practically everyone did it. HuffPo says that the grandmother of performance art is now in London doing a piece called “512 Hours” where she stands, stares, sits and does nothing for 65 days straight. Big deal, Marina. I’ve been doing nothing for decades! Where’s my grant from Kodak or wherever? While Marina does nothing at the Serpentine Gallery, her new protégée and future successor, Marina Abramopug is also bringing emotional art to the people of London at Hyde Park. File this under: This is what hipster’s consider “doggy playtime.

Marina Abramopug has rebooted Marina Abramovic’s “The Artist Is Present” and is sitting in a chair where she stares into the soul of the person sitting across from her FOR HOURS (or until she gets bored and starts licking her ass, which usually happens about 2 minutes after her shift begins). Marina Abramopug’s “personal assistant,” comedian and performance artist, Hannah Ballou, said that she’s performed The Artist (And The Dog Fart She Just Pooted Out) Is Present” twice already and there might be more to come:

“She’s open to performing the work again if invited by a suitably prestigious institution. She’s in discussions with rapper Snoop Dogg about a future collaboration, which we think will really shake up the art world.”

Those who have been lucky to sit across from Marina Abramopug have said that they experienced a real emotional breakthrough. They started to cry and their hands shook and mostly because they were resisting the urge to straighten that pug’s wig. Bitch’s wig is crooked!

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