To promote their movie Clouds of Sils Maria, Juliette Binoche and the human equivalent of a crumpled up paper bag full of spray paint fumes had a conversation for the German edition of Interview Magazine. As Celebitchy points out, Juliette Binoche and Kristen Stewart’s talk was translated by a Kristen Stewart fan from the Russian edition of Interview. So the interview was done in English, then translated into German, then translated into Russian, then translated back into English. Or it was translated from KStew’s mumble speak into English, then into Russian and back into English. Whatever the case may be, there was a lot of translating going on and so shit could’ve gotten twisted in translation. But then again this wouldn’t be the first time that KStew has dribbled out a shit nugget of humbleness.
During most of the interview, Juliette and KStew have their lips attached to each other’s asses. KStew only pried her lips off of Juliette’s nalgas to press them against her own ass. Juliette and KStew got into talking about doing big-budget Hollywood movies and indies. KStew hates it when people say you should do one role for yourself and one role for the audience. KStew only does roles for herself (Side note: It shows, bitch, it shows). KStew then redefined the meaning of “humble” by saying that she’s a magical genie and all she has to do is snap her fingers to get a role.
K: Everything I do, I do for myself. Blockbuster, art-house or Chanel commercial – it doesn’t matter. It could seem that after a successful movie I can allow myself anything. And you know what? I can! It’s incredible: I can do anything I fucking want. Yes, I’m in this unconscionably privileged position. And I’m not ashamed.
K: I never have to beg for a role, I can get any role with a snap of my fingers, and I don’t have to fight and struggle on my way up, like some other actors. I imagine a huge map with lots of streets and roads, and the only thing I have to do – is choose, where do I want to stay. Every door is open for me. I had a conscienceless amount of luck in my life. And it’s enough to understand: I love to play in blockbusters because I know, everyone’d watch them, they attracts people, they’re easy to take and they’re enjoyable. I bet your son was delighted when he learned, that you’d be in Godzilla.
J: He was. Though I’ll never understand what do all these people do at the sets of high-budget movies. After all everything is the same: camera, director, a couple of words or sentences said by someone. But you’re right: I enjoy all the anxiety, that only blockbusters can cause. The expectations are completely different.
K: Expectation is a whole other topic. The readers will definitely want to hear some of your advices. Tell me wise things. Do you have something ready?
J: Don’t let your kids play with an Oscar, the gold comes off.
Maybe Kristen Stewart said, “I am extremely lucky, because the piece of shit franchise I was in was a worldwide hit and made me a star and now directors will put me in their movies even though I have the acting skills of a dried drool stain,” and it got mixed up in translation. But Meryl Streep, Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Stone, Jessica Chastain and every other actress in Hollywood is still nervous as hell and Kristen Stewart’s fingers have become their #1 enemy. Because as long as KStew can snap her fingers, their careers are in danger. KStew’s fingers hold more power in them than the fingers of Evie from Out of This World. Beware actresses of Hollywood: Kristen Stewart can take your man by snapping her twat lips and she can take your roles by snapping her fingers.