It’s A Tragic Day In Gold Digging History: Anna Nicole Smith’s Estate Has Lost The Battle For J. Howard Marshall’s Millions

August 20, 2014 / Posted by:

After almost 20 years of fighting for a piece of the Marshall family fortune, Team Anna Nicole has lost for the last time and sadly this story won’t end with Dannielynn Birkhead sitting on top of a mountain of diamonds, gold coins and bricks of cash. A gold digger-hating U.S. District judge named Judge David O. Carter put an end to Team Anna Nicole’s attempts at getting some of that Marshall money. Dannielynn Birkhead will probably never see one penny from the Marshall family, because Anna Nicole’s estate is all out of moves.

This gold digging saga started in 1995 when Anna Nicole’s 90-year-old Texas billionaire husband of one year J. Howard Marshall II died and left his entire $1.6 billion estate to his son E. Pierce Marshall and left nothing to Anna and his other son J. Howard Marshall III. Anna Nicole and J. Howard Marshall III fought to overturn the will. They lost. Anna later declared bankruptcy and a bankruptcy court awarded her $475 million. The judge ruled that she had a right to that money due to “E. Pierce Marshall’s improper interference with his father’s estate.” But E. Pierce Marshall appealed and it went all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court where the judgement from the bankruptcy court was overturned twice.

E. Pierce Marshall died in 2006 and Anna Nicole followed him a year later. But the saga continued.

Last year, U.S. District Judge David O. Carter teased poor innocent Danielynn when he said that he might award her $40 million in sanctions for the shady tactics the Marshall family pulled. Judge Carter said their tactics were “too pervasive and too egregious to be ignored.” But yesterday, Forbes reported that Judge Carter shat on the hopes of the Anna Nicole Smith estate and declared that Danielynn’s lawyers “failed to provide sufficient evidence of actual damages for him to award sanctions.” Judge Carter ended the battle by saying that it’s time for everyone to move on:

The Court is not immune to the equitable pleas from Vickie Lynn’s estate. It is tempting to invoke the broad doctrines of discretion, equity, and inherent powers to follow the pull of one’s heart and one’s conscience. But the powers granted to the federal courts are not all encompassing… The Court also must consider the very real concerns attendant in sanctioning Pierce Marshall, who is deceased and therefore cannot be present, cannot attend the hearing, and cannot answer for himself the allegations against him.

Time spent litigating the relationship between Vickie Lynn and J. Howard has extended for nearly five times the length of their relationship and nearly twenty times the length of their marriage. It is neither reasonable nor practical to go forward.

Fuck Judge Carter and fuck the courts. This is America. In my America, when a delicate, young Texas yellow rose sucks the wrinkly, dusty dick of an 89-year-old billionaire, she should get something out of it besides the taste of wet moth balls and curdled goat milk. Hopefully, this sad tale doesn’t make aspiring gold diggers quit the game and get a job. That would be a double tragedy. I’m sure that somewhere up in heaven, Sugar Pie (I’m guessing that Sugar Pie is an angel now) is licking up Anna Nicole’s tears of defeat.

But seriously, even if the judge awarded Dannielynn $40 million, I doubt the Marshall family has the money to pay her since they’ve spent at least $1.6 million in court costs and lawyer fees.

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