Open Post: Hosted By Micaela Schäfer Making Out With A Robot

August 15, 2014 / Posted by:

I was all ready to send a “Get Well Soon” card and a bouquet of daisies over to Michael K, but then I saw these pictures of Germany’s own delicate edelweiss blossom Micaela Schäfer attempting to tongue a dollar tree Transformer, and decided it would be redundant to send him two types of flowers, so I’m just going with Micaela. And I’m no longer going to send a card that says “Get Well Soon”, because, again – redundant. He’ll be fully healed after gazing upon the therapeutic power of Micaela Schäfer’s demure beauty and tasteful elegance.

Germany’s professional stripper princess (I think that’s her job) Micaela Shäfer was kind enough to leave her Lucite palace in the sky and help promote something called MTV Music WG, which is like a German Real World web series, but with only three roommates. And for some reason she was accompanied by a giant robot pervert. Maybe they were going for some kind of futuristic Fifth Element theme? It would explain why she was dressed like a slutty low-budget Kardashian version of Ruby Rhod.

And is Micaela planning on running for office in the near future or something, because I have never seen her so covered up. This is the Micaela I’m used to (NSFW or people with an allergy to high concentrations of class). I mean, pants AND a top? Why so stuffy?

Here’s more of Micaela letting a robot feel up her spätzle-stuffed titty balls while promoting MTV Music WG in Tranzbrunnen.


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