That sound you just heard was a thousand thirsty gold diggers falling to their knees and screaming “YAAASSSSSS!” at top of their lungs to the Gold Digger Gods (in case you’re not familiar, the Gold Digger Gods are three slutty goddesses in Herve Leger bandage dresses named Jessica, Jenna, and Michelle who all got knocked up by Zeus with triplets and now own half of Mount Olympus). A little over two weeks ago, professional celebrity ex-wife Nicole Murphy called off her five-year engagement to Live! with Kelly and Michael’s Michael Strahan, and four days later it was revealed they were calling it quits because Michael allegedly couldn’t stop passing his peen around and/or Nicole refused to sign a prenup. It was truly a heartbreaking day for wallet humpers everywhere.
But just yesterday, TMZ spotted Nicole and Michael out for lunch in Beverly Hills, and it didn’t look like the kind of lunch that involved deciding who gets to keep the Vitamix. Nicole and Michael looked like they were on A DATE! Yes! Get money (and a free lunch) bitch!
Obviously getting a sangwich doesn’t mean two people are back together. But I’ve always been a hopeless romantic when it comes to gold digging, so I want to see these two work it out, especially when there’s millions of dollars worth of Live! with Kelly and Michael money on the line. Nicole needs to look at the bright side: yes, Michael wants you to sign a prenup so you don’t make off like a bank account-banging bandit when you decide to leave his ass and move on to greener pastures. But his last wife signed a prenup too, and she left with $15.3 million dollars. Don’t get greedy, girl; gold digging is a marathon, not a sprint. Always remember, prenup money is better than no money.