Megan Fox Says She Doesn’t Like People

August 12, 2014 / Posted by:

Last night, the almost-lifelike prototype for a generic-brand RealDoll Megan Fox informed human wine aerator Chelsea Handler and the audience of Chelsea Lately (via Moviefone) that even though she looks like a friendly humanoid, she’s not into people. Yes, she knows she was programmed to interact with people, but it doesn’t mean she has to like them. In fact, the only humans she likes are ones that fell out of her silicone vagina, and she’s very grateful they take up so much of her time, because it means less time being forced to interact with people:

“You don’t sleep [and] every minute is … dedicated to someone else.” The actress said she’s become a homebody because she’s always taking care of her sons, though she admits that she prefers not interacting with others. “I don’t like people,” she told host Chelsea Handler. “That’s why you want to hang out with fucking turtles,” Handler observed.

Maybe that’s why she wants to find Bigfoot so badly – so she can find out the best locations to hide from people.

My initial response was to tell Megan to watch her mouth, since people are the ones who put her in movies and repair the cracks in her silicone, but realistically, how long is it till the robots take over and human-looking sexy replicants like Megan Fox are the ones in charge? Not long! ASIMO, the sexiest of the sexy robots (#DatRoboBooty), can play soccer now! That means we’re only like, what, 4 years away from some roboskank cutting in line at Starbucks and bleep-blorping out a complicated drink order. “I want a grande high viscosity non-sludge extra-hot motor oil. What do you mean you want a name for the cup? Don’t you know who I am? I’m a TEEN-1600 droid, bitch, who the eff are you?”

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