If a red bandanna hanging out of a back pocket means you’re into fisting, then what does an entire coat made from red bandannas mean? You know what, don’t answer that.
Former porn star, Playboy model, failed tone-deaf pop star, and diet pill spokesperson Kim Kardashian recently admitted to People that the nine times her current husband Kanye West has woken up beside her, he’s been disappointed the living Real Doll laying in a deep Botoxed slumber beside him doesn’t have piss-kissed blonde hair anymore. Even though though she could always put on a cheap wig, Kim says it’s not the same; Kanye wants to play dress-up with Barbie, NOT Teresa!
“Kanye likes the blonde. But I think I’m going to stay dark. I was talking about this yesterday actually with Kanye. He asked if I would ever go back to blonde. I was like, ‘Not right after a baby, because my face was so swollen and it looked like my lips were huge’. My face was just off.”
“My face was just off.”
NEWSFLASH HOOKER, YOUR HAIR COLOR HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! Don’t throw blonde hair under the bus because you can’t stop stuffing collagen into your duck-lipped dick receiver and injecting Botox into every pore in your face! Aside from that, I don’t believe Kanye ever told Kim he liked her better as a blonde. Kanye would NEVER give someone else a compliment! He probably said: “Kanye West looks very good when Kanye West is standing next to something with blonde hair.”
And I love how she says “Not right after baby” as if she’s planning for a second baby. “You don’t even look after the one you already have!” – is what North West would say to Kim if they were ever in the same room together. NO! That’s not true! Kim is a great mother who totally spends time with North West. See? Here’s Kim and North doing some mommy-daughter bonding at the airport together! Sure, North has the type of terrified look on her face that says she’s searching for an Air Marshal (“Halp! I’m being kidnapped by a sedated stripper!”), but they’re totally technically spending time together!