Last month, ears curled and nerves snapped when a guy named Ryan Block tweeted a link to a recording of the verbal death match between him and a Comcast “retention specialist” after he said he wanted to cancel his service. Comcast said at the time that they were investigating the call and were HIGHLY embarrassed by how the customer service rep made the call about as pleasant as get getting fucked in the ear with a spiked dick. By “HIGHLY embarrassed,” Comcast obviously meant, “HIGHLY proud,” because their customer service department is at it again.
YouTuber Tim Davis says in a video he posted on Reddit that when he moved into a new apartment in Eugene, Oregon, he set up Comcast internet by himself. The internet stopped working after a couple of weeks, so he called up customer service. Tim says that he knows that some companies are shady hos and will pull some “We never said that shit” shit, so he records all conversations with customer service. The customer service rep determined that Tim didn’t screw up his installation and the problem had to do with wonky cables outside of his building. The rep told him on the phone that a technician would go out to fix it and he wouldn’t be charged since he did nothing wrong. The technician came out, fixed it and that was that. But since this is Comcast we’re talking about, that wasn’t that.
Comcast sent Tim a love letter in the form of a bill for $182. Even though the rep said they wouldn’t charge him, they did charge him $132 for failing to install his modem properly and $50 for setting up his WiFi for him. Tim set up his WiFi by himself and that shit was never a problem. Tim called customer service to dispute the charges and as he waited for a rep to pick up, he looked out the window and noticed the leaves on the trees turning orange and falling off, then he noticed kids in costumes running by followed by Santa flying by on his sleigh. Tim waited for SEASONS for a ho to pick up. Okay, he waited an hour, but an hour feels like a century when you’re on hold with customer service. Tim hung up and when he called back, he got Daisy the supervisor.
Daisy agreed to take off $100 from his bill for service discounts, but said he’d still have to pay $82 for sending out a technician. Daisy said that she’d upgrade his internet, but there’s no way in Hell she was going to give him a refund. But when Tim played her the recording of the rep telling him that he wouldn’t be charged and they went back and forth, Daisy finally took the charge off of his account. via HuffPo
“Why were you not able to do that before?” Tim asked.
“Again, that is a valid charge,” Daisy said. “But since I advised my manager that there is a recording, and you were misinformed, then he’s the one who can approve that $82.”
“You’re telling me that if I didn’t have a recording of that call, you wouldn’t have been able to do it,” he said.
“That is correct, yes.”
Here’s all the recordings that Tim recorded of his adventures with Comcast. His conversation with Daisy starts at around the 4:00 mark.
It’s calls like these that remind me that I wasn’t born with the patient gene, because I would’ve thrown my phone at my Comcast modem and eventually be charged $350 for breaking it.
Comcast is trying to buy Time Warner and if that happens they’d be the biggest cable company in the universe, which means that we’ll all be forced to get it or we’ll have to get our internet from a hamster on speed running on a wheel with a tinfoil hat on its head. Time Warner’s customer service is the reason why I no longer have pubes, because I pulled them all out while trying to deal with their asses. So if Comcast and Time Warner joined forces, their customer service would single-handedly destroy humankind.
If the Time Warner deal does go through, Comcast should also buy the pharmaceutical company that makes Vicodin and they should give out a prescription (with 3,000 refills) to every new costumer. Because you’re going to need to swallow a bottle of something strong before calling their customer service department.