If you have ever watched Keeping Up With The Koven of Klassless Tramps (not that you’d ever admit to that out loud if you have) and thought of how much better it would be if they got rid of Pimp Mama Kris, The Narcoleptic Hooker Queen, Khloezilla, the one that humps on Scott Disick, The Sock One, The Dumb Model One, Marla Hooch, and Satan (you can’t see him, but he’s always there) and made the show entirely about the only one of those whores that matters, then you’re in luck. Some wonderful soul (via BuzzFeed) has cut together an episode of KUWTK starring former Olympian and current effervescent pink champagne bubble Bruce Jenner, and NO ONE ELSE. Just Bruce muttering to himself about golfing and shuffling around the house looking for his good jar of cuticle cream. It’s perfect!
A television show starring Bruce and only Bruce would be immensely popular (I mean, it’s already the #1 rated series in my dreams every night) but obviously the name would have to be changed. Keeping Up With The Kardashians doesn’t make any sense if there aren’t any Kardashians. I’m thinking either Gazing At Bruce From Afar (you can’t keep up with Bruce) or National Geographic Presents: GLAMOUR. You’re right – a show starring a perfect 10 like Bruce Jenner needs no title.
And in case you need further convincing that Bruce needs his own show, here are some pictures of Heaven’s hottest angel turning the parking lot of Rite-Aid into an impromptu runway yesterday. Look at all that charisma uniqueness nerve and talent; obviously Bruce could carry a show all by himself. But in the event E! thinks there should be another character, might I suggest Bruce Jenner’s floppy trouser javelin?