Frankie Grande, the older brother of caterwauling come-to-life Maiden Fairhair doll Ariana Grande, is currently holed up in the Big Brother house, and he recently dropped the bombshell on his fellow castmates that he has been lying about his identity and confessed that he isn’t just another fame-hungry nobody. Frankie Grande, who’s name sounds like a delicious footlong hotdog, revealed that he’s actually a super-famous Broadway/YouTube/Twitter/Vine star, but most important of all…ARIANA GRANDE’S BROTHER. According to Frankie, the real Frankie is a “social media mogul” with “1.5 million followers” (give or take a couple hundred thousand), and the brother to “mega, mega popstar” Ariana Grande. In case you’re still not getting it: Frankie Grande is a major somebody who once lived in the same womb as the Toddlers and Tiaras-looking sexy baby swap meet version of Mariah Carey. Bow down, bitches.
Obviously Frankie’s fellow Big Brother castmates have been drinking too much dirty pool water, because they didn’t seem to comprehend the level of A-list star power standing before them and responded to Frankie’s confession by letting their eyes glaze over.
Um, RUDE! That’s Ariana Grande’s brother you’re staring vacantly at! But Frankie didn’t just brag about his sister; he also admitted that being a super-famous social media celebrity is a devastating burden to carry in the house, especially around people who only have a pitiful 50,000 followers. He also confessed that he once met Justin Bieber, that he’s definitely not famous because of his famous sister – ARIANA GRANDE, and that his sister – ARIANA GRANDE – is as big as Rihanna (“Uh huh, sure“ – Rihanna).
You can choose to think it was tacky of Frankie to brag about falling out of the same vagina as “mega pop superstar” Ariana Grande, but I think it was actually very nice of him to throw her some publicity. I mean, he’s not some Z-list name-dropping nobody; he’s THE Frankie Grande! Think of how many more Sam & Cat DVDs have been sold since Frankie ever-so-casually mentioned her name on Big Brother? Think of the exposure! Unless you’re a 13-year-old girl, you probably hear the name “Ariana Grande” and immediately wonder if you can add a shot of pumpkin spice to that (“and no whip…aw fuck it, extra whip”). But now? Thanks to ultra-famous internet celebrity Frankie Grande, Ariana is destined to be a household name!