Pete Campbell And Rory Gilmore Got Secret Married In June

August 6, 2014 / Posted by:

Gossip Cop and Star Magazine say that the couple that random queefed up is now the married couple that random queefed up.

Star says that on June 7th, Vincent Kartheiser and Alexis Bledel got married at some fancy resort in Ojai, CA (probably the Ojai Valley Inn & Spa where EVERY celebrity gets married when the San Ysidro Ranch is booked) and on their wedding night they awkwardly fucked on the rug in their room as Emily Gilmore pounded on the door and screamed at Rory for not inviting her to the secret wedding. A source tells Star that Jon Hamm, the Hammaconda and Matthew Weiner were guests at Rory and Pete’s wedding and Rory wore a dress:

“Alexis looked breathtaking. She wore a floor-length gown, and her hair was up. Vincent wore a gray suit and teared up when Alexis walked down the aisle.”

A rep confirmed the wedding to Gossip Cop. Vincent and Alexis met when she played the married trick who has an affair with Pete Campbell on Mad Men. They got engaged last year.

Three things:

1. I really hope that Vincent had a shaved hairline on his wedding day, because if you’re going to marry Pete Campbell, you should only marry him when his hair looks like Friar Tuck with failed plugs.

2. Alexis married Vincent at a good time, because at least he has a toilet now and she doesn’t have to worry about shitting in a coffee can in the backyard.

3. May they have a hundred blinding white vampire alien babies with foreheads that go on forever.

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