File this in the empty dust-collecting folder marked: “Justin Bieber‘s useful contributions to society”. According to the Croatian Times (via TMZ), a 42-year-old man named Igor Vorozhbitsyn (hot name, hotter if he ever goes by “Bitsy”) had just parked his car and was heading to his favourite fishing spot in northern Russia’s Yakutia Republic when an angry bear jumped him from behind and started mauling his ass. Igor was sure that Not-So-Gentle Ben was about to send him on a one-way trip to the afterlife, but then his cellphone rang. Igor says the ringtone – Justin Bieber’s “Baby” – upset the bear so much that he took off:
“I couldn’t believe my luck when the phone went off and he fled. I know that sort of ringtone isn’t to everyone’s taste but my granddaughter loaded it onto my phone for a joke.”
“Damn, Dedushka, why you gotta play me like that? I never touched your phone” – Igor’s granddaughter, assuming she even exists, WHICH SHE TOTALLY DOESN’T (I’m on to you Bitsy, you lie-telling Bieber-loving Pepaw Judas).
I thought that humans were the only species who hear Justin Bieber’s voice and start clawing at their ears, but it looks like we can add bears to that list as well. That poor bear; I bet the second “Baby” hit his tiny ear holes, he ran back into the woods, screamed for his wife and kids to stop wiping their asses with toilet paper and grab him a sharp pine cone or a porcupine so he could stab out his eardrums, and when they couldn’t find anything, he begged them to find the hunter that took out Bambi’s mom.
And now I’m really confused, because I thought a bear would be into a twink like Justin Bieber?