Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 6, 2014 / Posted by:

Claire Wyckoff, my new favorite artiste who uses the Nike+ running app to draw dicks of all shapes and sizes while she runs.

A few months ago, I, for some crazy reason, decided that I should maybe get exercise beyond using my foot to grab the remote control off of the coffee table and fapping to porn while fast forwarding to the good parts (that’s not only a good source of cardio but it also works your hand-eye coordination). So I took up running for a minute and if you live in L.A. and have seen chunks of Funyuns-covered, weed-smelling rotten meat in the gutter, that’s the pieces of my lung I coughed up while trying to be a runner. To get through my runs, I’d pretend I was a baby warthog and Khlozilla was chasing after me in the wild and I’d also pretend I was in a reboot of Run, Lola, Run and had to get 100,000 Deutsche Marks to save Prince Hot Ginge’s life. Neither of those tactics worked for my ass. But this might do it because it involves PEEEEEEEEN.

Claire Wyckoff (please tell me her last name is pronounced “whack off“) of San Francisco started a tumblr (via Jezebel) where she posts all the masterpiece drawings she makes with her running legs using Nike’s running app that tracks her every move. Claire draws a bunch of things, but magic is really made when she draws dicks of all shapes and sizes. Claire’s legs and feet draw fat dicks, short dicks, mushroom-headed dicks, jizzing dicks and pencil dicks with mangled urethras, herp sores and hairy balls. Her drawings look like the courses of the Scientology’s Men’s Marathon.

Claire is a true American hero and this is almost making me want to try running again. But I’ll have to start with something small like the Jon Gosselin course and maybe in a few years, I can tackle The Hammaconda marathon.

Pics: Running Drawing, Instagram

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