Beyoncé’s Remix Of “Flawless” Features A Vague Reference To The Elevator Beat-Down, Because Of Course It Does
Last night, Beyoncé released a remix of the song “Flawless” featuring the come-to-life Crank Yankers puppet Nicki Minaj that contained a cryptic message about the post-Met Gala elevator smack-down between Basement Baby and Jay-Z. Even though Basement’s caught-on-tape act of attempted camelcide happened a million years ago, Stuntyoncé pulled it out of the box marked “Possible Ways of Getting Attention” in her Publicity Stunt storage locker, dusted it off, and trotted it out for her new-ish song. “Eh, at least it’s not another staged picture of Jay-Z” – fucking everyone.
Yawncé addresses the bitch slap heard ’round the world at the 0:36 mark by rapping the following vague nonsense:
“We escalate, up in this bitch like elevators. Of course sometimes shit go down when there’s a billion dollars on an elevator.”
BUT WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN??? No really, what the fuck does it mean; those lyrics make no goddamn sense. It sounds like it was written by Blue Ivy on a busted Speak & Spell, then re-written by Michelle.
TMZ has a theory that Beyoncé is referring to how much her and Jay-Z are worth. It’s estimated that the marriage between Joe Camel and WeaveBot-2000 is worth somewhere between $900 million and $1 billion, therefore the line about “a billion dollars on an elevator” could mean there’s a billion dollars on the line when it comes to their relationship. Then again, TMZ could be wrong and the ‘billion dollars’ remark could be in reference to how much money everybody in the elevator had on them at the time:
Beyoncé = $499 million
Jay-Z = $499 million
Security Guard = $46
Basement Baby = A handful of nickels, a button, and some pocket lint
And this is what it has come to: Beyoncé releasing remixes of her songs to include sketchy “clues” about her relationship in an attempt to silence the divorce rumors. Fuck off, Beyoncé! I’m bored! I’m SO bored! Nobody cares about the Basement Baby beat-down anymore; it’s old-ass news. What’s next, Beyoncé posting a photo of the piss stick from a phony pregnancy test with the caption: “#TBT to the time I got knocked up…or did I? #mystery #alwayskeepemguessing”. Just Instagram a picture of the divorce papers and get it over with!