The last time Xtina had a baby growing in her body, she took off all her maternity panties, got her minions to roll her in a kiddie pool full of Tang and posed bump ass naked in a cover photo shoot for Marie Claire that Photoshop is still recovering from. Since Xtina is currently carrying Matt Rutler’s future blank check, she has once again taken off all her clothes while Photoshop shakes with fear over all the work that’s about to come. Because what is the point of being a knocked up famous ho if you’re not going to show off your knocked up naked body in a magazine? If you’re a knocked up famous ho and you don’t pose naked for public eyes, are you really pregnant?
Xtina tells V Magazine that before she births out the adorable ATM that will make sparkly dollar signs shine in Matt Rutler’s eyes, she wanted one of her favorite photographers Brian Bowen Smith to capture her pregnant body and she also felt like too much time has passed since she’s made Photoshop scream for mercy. In the above shot, Xtina’s trying to look like she’s gracefully covering her salad plate nipple while she airs out her armpit and bathes her body in
light bulb rays sunlight, but she’s obviously making veins in her butt lips burst by holding in a pregnant fart hard and she’s thinking about how a bitch needs to give her a chair, because she doesn’t know how much more her swole ankles can take. In another shot, Xtina’s trying to look like she’s gracefully lying on her back as her ass crack-flashing piece delicately kisses her upside/down, but it looks like her throat is throbbing from holding in an acid reflux burp. So artistic. So beautiful. So special.
Xtina said this to V about being pregnant:
“As a woman, I’m proud to embrace my body through all stages of life, staying fearless and confident in surrendering to the unknowns the future has in store.”
Translation: “I’m proud to embrace my body, but only if it’s Photoshopped to the next dimension and back. I’m also happy to give Photoshop some work. Adobe can’t put all their eggs in Mimi’s basket.”
And here’s a few more of Xtina’s pregnant naked body. Warning: PREGNANT NIPPLES AHEAD!