Even though Julia Roberts is a stone-cold bitch of the highest order who could shut a trick down just by squinting in their general direction, she confessed to Matt Lauer (serving up some “sleazy dad who hits on the babysitter when he drives them home” realness, as usual) this morning on the Today show (via Radar) that she’s glad she never had to deal with the biggest bitch of all – social media. Julia says she probably would have called up her agent and yelled “I QUIT” if she had to read the mean shit people said about her on Twitter or see grainy pictures of her looking like a drunk mess at the club with Kiefer Sutherland on Instagram:
“I don’t think I’d survive. It’s just too nasty…it’s the sport of ugliness. I’d pull out of it. I wouldn’t have the stomach for it. I’m so happy that, for me, the timing of when I started off in the business and how it all worked out for me.”
I totally agree with her; social media would not have been kind to Pretty Woman-era Julia Roberts. It would totally suck. If all the social media that existed now existed in the early 90s, someone asshole would have created a Tumblr called Julia Roberts is a Basic Bitch or Julia Roberts’s giant mouth. She’d Instagram a selfie on the set of The Pelican Brief and all the comments would be like “YR HAIR IS SO FUG AND YOU R BORING”. And imagine what Twitter would have looked like when the cast of Hook was announced? There would be a million angry people tweeting shit like “@StevenSpielberg: Are you serious? Julia Roberts as Tinkerbell???? #dumb #childhoodruined #somanytears”.
And if you want to see what Julia’s “I quit this bitch” face looks like in slow-mo, here’s Julia on The Tonight Show last night playing a game called Face Balls with Jimmy Fallon. Even Jimmy Fallon’s face is like “Really? We’re throwing inflatable balls at each other’s faces now? Could we not throw together a Brian Williams rap instead?”