Um, those two dogs on the left making a “This Is Not What I Signed Up For” face should really tell their Chow Chow friend, Genghis Khan II, that opening his mouth when Terry Richardson is around is never a good idea. Or maybe GK2 is silently screaming and shutting his eyes because he can’t with this mess. Probably the latter.
The woman who Blake NotSoLively will one day skin alive and wear posed for a spread in Net-A-Porter’s print magazine Porter and before the shoot, she was given a list of photographers to choose from. Fashionista (via Jezebel) says that Terry Richardson was on that list. If you were doing a shoot for Porter Magazine and they gave you a list with Uncle Terry’s name on it, you’d probably say, “Why are you giving me the National Sex Offender Registry? Give me that list of photographers!” Martha didn’t do that and out of all the photographers on the list, she went with the human chloroform rag. Either the name Terry Richardson hasn’t penetrated through the mint green bubble that Martha lives in or she figured that since she’s all out of Creme De La Mer, she might as well try a new facial cream. Porter says that after the come-to-life stock photo of a pedophile shot her, she told everyone he was “cute.” This is the reason why the Strawberry Shortcake bar I ate last night is crawling up my throat:
“It is the first time these two controversy-hounds have met but it is, like so much in Stewart’s life, no accident. After debating over a long list of photographers, America’s house-mother superior insisted that Richardson shoot her. ‘Oh, he is cute,’ she will say later, when he comes to say goodbye.”
The only thing more WTF-ish than Uncle Terry shooting Martha Stewart is Martha Stewart calling Uncle Terry “cute.” Calling Terry Richardson “cute” is like calling a hairy ass wart that a rat chewed off “adorable.” But anybody who has seen the disgusting plates of barf-covered diarrhea that Martha has tweeted knows that she’s blind when it comes to nasty crap.
And I hope that Martha thinking that Uncle Terry is cute isn’t going to lead to a more “intimate” photo shoot, because my eyeballs were not built to take in the sight of Uncle Terry’s leaky dick on Martha Stewart’s forehead.