Beyonce Is Right On Time

July 30, 2014 / Posted by:

Page Six has made it their new goal in life to destroy the Illuminati’s chosen couple and when they published stories about how Jay-Z is passing his camel rocket to RiRi and Beyonce is looking to buy a penthouse of her very own, I figured she’d answer to those rumors by Instagramming a picture of her and RiRi making friendship bracelets together at a BFFs-only slumber party and a picture of her and her husband boning in their living room under a Home Sweet Home wreath. Beyonce didn’t Instagram anything like that, but she did Instagram a picture of Jay-Z and God’s spirit guide Blue Ivy Carter strolling along a beach that looks like it’s covered in bunny shit. Beyonce threw the STUNT QUEEN Instagram filter on it and added this note:

My favorite hue is JayZ Blue

Bey, please. We all know your favorite hue is Get Money Green (but whose isn’t?). Case in point: The Fifty Shades Of Grey trailer.

Nice try, Beyonce, but it’s obvious that isn’t Jay-Z or Blue Ivy Carter. We can’t see their faces! Beyonce couldn’t take a picture of Jay-Z, because he was too busy dropping camel saliva bombs on RiRi’s airport runway forehead while doing her missionary style. Beyonce couldn’t take a picture of BIC, because that baby was too blabbering in goo goo gaga talk to the team of interior designers who are designing her wing of the Manhattan penthouse her mom bought. That’s obviously one of Beyonce’s minions in a Joe Camel costume and the part of Blue Ivy Carter is being played by a slimmed down Emmanuel Lewis. Beyonce is shameless and thinks we’re all about as dumb as a dried glob of wig glue, but at least she gave Emmanuel Lewis a job. I will give her that.

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