That’s a headline that’ll make the entire state of Florida shake in fear over their future, because this happened in Louisiana and not in Florida. Florida, Louisiana is coming for your title as America’s foremost producer of fuckery.
The Smoking Gun brings us this story that reads like something straight out of a book of People of Walmart fanfiction. A 25-year-old mother of two named Princess Marks (it’s always a Princess) was arrested after she admitted to cops that she was slurping up her “boyfriend’s” peen in his car while her kids, ages 5 and 7, were left by themselves in her SUV. At 12:30 in the morning on Friday, the cops showed up to a Walmart parking lot in Lake Charles, LA after someone called 911 to report two little kids left in an SUV by themselves. The SUV wasn’t running and all the windows were down. Princess Marks strolled up to her SUV a few minutes later and told the cops that she left her kids by themselves while she sucked her man’s dick and she also admitted that it was kind of impossible to keep an eye on her kids since her face was full of man crotch.
Princess was charged with child desertion and was later released on $5,000 bail. Her kids are being taken care of by family members.
If you’re shaking your head at Princess and saying to yourself that she sucks as a mother and shouldn’t have anymore kids, ask yourself this, don’t you think she knows that? Why do you think she was giving a blow job instead screwing?
Princess has a pair of perfectly sculpted eyebrows, so I should trust all the decisions she makes, but I can’t. If the dude was really her boyfriend and if she was really giving him head, then she needs to dumps his ass immediately, because how can you be with a dude who won’t look out for the cops and check on your kids while you’re licking his peen? That’s a question you should ask during every first date. As soon as you sit down, ask the dude, “If I suck you off in a Walmart parking lot at midnight, are you going to check for the cops and check on my kids in the next car over?” If he looks at you funny or says no, ask the server to pack up your appetizer to go and get out of there. He’s obviously not boyfriend material.
And this story is a PSA to all future parents: This is what happens you name your kid Princess.