Back when HBO did the lord’s work by showing us actual dick on their shows, Christopher Meloni’s peen was practically the lead on Oz and it was rare for an episode to go by without our loved ones having to turn the hose on us and tase our heads after his dick popped up on screen and we pressed our tongues against it and refused to disengage. Most of us have had several servings of Meloni dick and we’ve even seen his remarkable anus lips. We’ve seen all of Meloni! You can probably draw every vein on his peen from memory and if you’re really moist for Meloni (shot out to commenter Moist For Meloni wherever you are) you probably see it every day since you stitched a picture of it on the inside of your panties. But still, a picture of Christopher Meloni’s zipper-busting plaid bulge is still an important event that we all need to be made aware of! Meloni tweeted a picture of his doggy friend looking at his bushel of Snausages bulge with biting eyes and he threw in this note:
I will stare at ur genitalia until u feed me…
Or that doggy’s thinking, “Where’s the peanut butter?” No, no, no. It’s always too early for bestiality.
But seriously, there’s no better way to start your week than to start it by wishing you had the power to shapeshift into Christopher Meloni’s dog so you could stare at his sausage and potatoes until he fed you.