Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 27, 2014 / Posted by:

The cherry pellets that fed the dark soul of the Baby All Gone doll in the 90s!

One of the 90s most scariest villains (besides Spandex biker shorts with nothing on over them, of course) was the Baby Alive Doll who manipulated its way into homes with its cute plastic baby doll face and most likely partied hard, ate souls and caused chaos when its family went to sleep. Because kids are weird and really got into feeding a plastic inanimate object a spoonful of disgusting powdered, mashed cherries and bananas, Baby Alive was a hit when it came out in the early 90s. Wikipedia says that after the success of Baby Alive, Hasbro put out Baby All Gone, which was less “cartoon-ey” (read: MORE ALIVE) than Baby Alive. They swapped out the mashed banana diarrhea that Baby Alive ate for food that looked like tiny pellets.

One of the foods that Baby All Gone ate were cherries that didn’t look like cherries at all. What in the HELL kind of GD cherries are those? They look like eggs from a gay fish or like Barbie’s plastic period clots. One of my little cousins had one of these dolls and I remember the cherries smelling like cherries that were picked off of a tree that was watered with melted cherry Lip Smackers and Jolly Ranchers. Shit was sweet. But really, those weren’t cherries. They were obviously pills! Look at them. If you watch the commercial, Baby All Gone inhales them and she can’t get those pills in her body fast enough. She’s also got all the signs of a pill popper. That peroxide “Ellen Burstyn in Requiem for a Dream” hair, those cracked out eyes that never blink. Pill popping baby. It’s Valley Of The Baby All Gone Dolls!

In conclusion: I really want to get my hands on a jar of those cherry pills now. You know it’s some good shit.

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