Two days after Zack Snyder made the tips of tongues go hard by twatting out a picture of Batfleck’s juicy, hairy bubble butt chin, he made the nerds shoot a panty pudding geyser out of their assholes by showing the first picture of Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman in Batman V Superman at Comic-Con in San Diego this morning. Wonder Woman’s looking like she put on some hot hooker boots she bought on Hollywood Blvd and slipped on a re-purposed Xena costume she got on clearance the day after Halloween at Party City to pose for an Instagram picture on the set of 300. When I first saw the words “Gal Gadot in Full Wonder Woman Costume” on my RSS feed, I braced my eyeballs for the worst, because I really thought Wonder Woman was going to look like a Wonder Mess. Maybe it’s because I was expecting the worst, but this isn’t that bad. Yes, she sort of does look like she’s doing lazy Xena cosplay and little skinny arms tell me that she must be the midget of the Amazons, but anything is better than the American Apparel stripper Wonder Woman that NBC gave us 3 years ago. Click here to see that shit in Hi-Res.
I do have something serious to bitch about, though. THAT HAIR! Bitch looks like she got up, squirted some leave-in conditioner in her hair and left the house. That is some “Monday morning letting my hair air dry while driving to work” hair. Wonder Woman does not have flat hair. Why would Wonder Woman ever have flat, basic hair when she can easily twirl some body into it? The Wonder Woman I know and love would never fight crime without her hair looking styled, set and sprayed. My feelings about Wonder Woman’s hair in that picture are best expressed through Lynda Carter’s side-eye that can penetrate through any gold cuff.
With all that being said, Slut-O-Ween 2016 can’t come soon enough, because I can’t wait to see all the drunk messes stumbling around the streets and bars while wearing the brown plastic version of the new Wonder Woman costume they bought at Rite-Aid.