Some say that Comic-Con exists so that Hollywood studios can whore out their movies and make a zillionaire more dollars in merchandise. Others say that Comic-Con exists, because mothers of nerds fund it with their own money so that it’ll get their sons out of the basement and they can finally shampoo the carpet down there at their own risk. I say that Comic-Con exists solely to give international supermodel and the forever Queen of Cosplay Phoebe Price a place to display her beauty, talent, creativity and grace to the masses.
For her first day as the reigning ruler of Comic-Con, PP bought all the fake plants in the clearance section of Michael’s and wrapped them around a butchered Forever 21 prom dress to greet her subjects as Poison Ivy (at least I think she’s supposed to be Poison Ivy, but I guess she could also be a chicken cutlet covered in gangrene and fungus. Either way. GENIUS!). Poison Cutlets ruled over Comic-Con while sitting on a plant and almost exposing her red fern ivy. For the second day as the reigning ruler of Comic-Con, PP did herself up as Maleciginge (and I hear you saying, “More like Failificent.” You bitch). I know the St. Angie Jolie documentary Maleficent has made approximately $10 trillion dollars worldwide, but seeing PP as Maleficent made the executives at Disney realize that they made a major, major mistake. Maleficent wasn’t supposed to be some bony ass fairy with a soft spot (gross). Maleficent was meant to be a ginger goddess in a discount rented costume who puts young princesses into a coma with her powerful posing skills. Big mistake, Disney!