Night Crumbs
Jennifer Lawrence and Nicholas Hoult may or may not have broken up again and he may or may not have moved onto Elvis‘ granddaughter who may or may have not boned Robert Pattinson and I may or may not be making you go crazy by typing may or may not a million times – Lainey Gossip
If you happen to see a Sasquatch humping your tree in the backyard, don’t worry, it’s just Khlozilla. She’s horny and not getting any since French Montana’s Shrek peen is fasting for Ramadan – Celebitchy
Backdoor Farrah’s starring in another whorror movie because her last one co-starring James Deen wasn’t scary enough – Reality Tea
Model Andreja Pejić has come out as a trans woman – Towleroad
Parasite Hilton doing another Carl’s Jr commercial is Carl’s Jr way of letting you know that they use Valtrex as a filler in their meat now – The Superficial
House of Style has been brought back from foreclosure and will be hosted by Iggy Azalea for some reason – Jezebel
Either Lindsay Lohan queefed or that water is just naturally really green – Drunken Stepfather
Jennette McCurdy doesn’t want to be a role model and in other words, she wants to post pictures of her ass on Instagram without stupid parents trying to kill her buzz – WWTDD
Kelly Brook is timely – Hollywood Tuna
Things I’ve learned from The Rock’s Instagram: He does a lot of sitting, standing and walking – The Berry
Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden take their grossness to France – Popsugar
Selena Gomez tries to bring the sexy but still looks like a little girl playing dress up in her mom’s closet if her mom was JLo – Popoholic
Liberty Ross should send a thank you note to Kristen Stewart’s snatch, because she almost got everything in the divorce – ICYDK
Joaquin Phoenix might be Doctor Strange – HuffPo
Morgan Freeman is on helium again – SOW
I’ve never had it for Wes Bentley, but take his top off, cover him in tattoos and make him look like he uses motor oil as lube and I’m all in – Just Jared
Pic: Getty