In a blog post written for her skincare like, Kora Organics, toddler-faced supermodel Miranda Kerr says in “My Morning Beauty Routine” (via Daily Mail) that she’s often asked how it’s possible for a genetic lottery winner to look so effortlessly gorgeous day after day. She claims that from the moment she pulls her giant bobble head off the pillow in the morning, it takes her about as much time as it takes me to choose whether I want to eat my breakfast cereal out of a bowl or just pour it directly into my mouth before she’s ready to step out the door and greet the crowd of paps she hired to wait outside her apartment:
“I usually have very little time in the mornings, especially with a toddler, so with these simple skin and beauty steps I can get out the door in 15 minutes.”
So what does Miranda do in those 15 minutes? Fucking EVERYTHING. She begins her day by squeezing half a lemon into a glass of warm water (how very GOOP of you, Miranda), dry brushing her entire body like a damn show pony, takes a shower, applies body lotion and a bunch of face shit, styles her hair, applies makeup, gets dressed in clothes that aren’t sweatpants or a casual muumuu, presses a bunch of veggies into the juicer, chugs it, then – VOILA! Miranda Kerr is done, and still has time left over to watch Hoda and Kathie Lee get day drunk on the 4th hour of the Today show.
For those of you who spend your first 15 minutes in the morning trying to pee without falling asleep on the toilet, this probably seems like total bullshit. But I totally believe her; Miranda has to get out there and start hunting billionaires! 15 minutes is probably generous; I bet that once she catches the scent of money, she’s out the door in 60 seconds.
Here’s more of Miranda heading to the airport looking like she only had 15 minutes to get ready: