While promoting her upcoming film Cheap Green Dildo Goblins at Comic-Con yesterday, Megan Fox moved the conversation away from busted rubber-faced disasters (I’ll let you decide if I was referring to the ninja turtles) to Khloe Kardashian’s not-so-distant relatives by telling People that, yes, Bigfoot is real, and that he needs to watch his elusive hairy ass, because she’s coming for him!
“Bigfoot’s real. And I have confidence in myself that if I were ever to be taken out on an expedition … I would be the one to find Bigfoot.”
Meanwhile, somewhere in the middle of a California forest, Bigfoot gave an interview to Sasquatch Weekly where he claims that somewhere in Hollywood, there’s a living Real Doll. Many believe she’s a hoax, that it’s nothing more than a human in blow-up doll drag, like Farrah Abraham. But he knows that if he could just get his hands on a fake plastic surgery license and a sign that says FREE BOTOX IF YOU KNOW MICHAEL BAY, he could catch her and prove she’s real.