I’ve always had a like for Charlize Theron, because she auditioned for Showgirls, wrestled Teri Snatcher in 2 Days in the Valley and plays down river trash like no other. But my like for her began to die when she started regularly wrapping her lips around Sean Penn’s dick and when blind items suggested that she’s always been a raging asshole. And now, she’s really, really, REALLY gone and done it. Charlize was mean to one of the Sister, Sister sisters at the overpriced torture chamber known as
EatYourSoul Cycle. Somewhere in the deep, smelly bowels of Hell, one of Satan’s minions is making up a cell for Charlize Theron, because that’s where you go when you’re cunty to one of the stars of ABC’s TGIF! Bitch is lucky she wasn’t mean to Kimmy Gibbler.
In an exclusive interview that I’m sure will be picked up and thoroughly analyzed by CNN, the BBC and Al-Jazeera, Tia Mowry tells InTouch that she’s a fan of Charlize’s work, so when she saw Sean Penn’s #2 homegirl (after the late Hugo Chavez, of course) at a spin class, she decided to say hi. Either Tia Mowry is Charlize’s least favorite Mowry sister or she’s an uneducated twat who doesn’t know a true star from the 90s when she sees one, because she did what most of us do when we see Sean Penn’s face: she rolled her eyes. Tia told this harrowing tale of her bitchy moment with Charlize:
“She wasn’t very nice to me. I said ‘Hi,’ and she actually rolled her eyes and said, ‘Oh my God.’ I wasn’t over-the-top. I know how to approach another celebrity. Charlize was just mean. I’m just being honest.”
Tia Mowry missed a really good opportunity to say, “GO HOME, ROGER!”
This was obviously a major misunderstanding, because I don’t know how anybody could be bitchy toward a Mowry sister. Here’s what really happened: Charlize wasn’t rolling her eyes, her eyes were spazzing out, because she couldn’t believe that she was staring at the one and only Tia Mowry! And Tia Mowry left before Charlize could finish her sentence. Charlize was about to say, “Oh my God…..I can’t believe I’m meeting the star of my favorite movie Twitches!” Tia was actually the one being rude to Charlize. Oh, Tia, why did you have to be so mean to your #1 fan?