When Baby Prince George was just crawling around and didn’t know how to use his legs to walk yet, he was stealing toys, slapping other children and leaving a pile of smoking destruction wherever he went. There’s a room in the dungeon under Buckingham Palace where all the skeletons of his victims and the toys he stole are stored and every time someone asks THE QUEEN about it, she shrugs and says, “Oh, future kings will be future kings.” So now that Baby Prince George can walk, we’re all doomed and there’s no limit to the destruction he can cause. Everybody ruuuuuuuun! Okay, first you can awww at his pudgy cheeks and little baby outfit and then ruuuuuuuuuuun for your lives!
Baby Prince George’s birthday is on Tuesday, so to celebrate the one year anniversary of the day that Baby Prince George was pulled out of Duchess Kate’s royal vagine, she and Prince William released this picture of him walking around a butterfly exhibit at the Natural History Museum in London a little over two weeks ago. Yes, Duchess Kate and Prince William are just like your neighbors who give you a picture of their baby on their baby’s first birthday. You stick that picture on the side of your refrigerator with a magnet your mom got you during her trip to Las Vegas. You’ll eventually replace that picture when you need space to put a menu from that Thai restaurant you order from all the time.
John Stillwell of the Press Association took the picture and he tells People that after this picture was taken, Baby Prince George viciously attacked him, basically:
“He’s quick on his feet. He was walking towards me – I was kneeling down to take the picture and he was on top of me as soon as he started walking. He was very quick. He looked really steady on his feet.”
But was he quick? I don’t think John told us that.
AFP says that everyone is going to run out and get the outfit that Prince George is wearing, because he’s a fashion icon. To which I say, AHAHAHAHA. Baby Prince George is barely a year old! I doubt anybody is copying his look. A style icon? That’s crazy. That’s insane. (Cut to me later tonight furiously searching Amazon for black leather nun shoes in men’s size 9 and blue striped OshKosh overalls in toddler size XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL).
And here’s some pictures of Baby Prince George’s daddy and hot ginger uncle throwing side-eyes (see: Prince William), giving everyone the swoons (see: PHG) and working hard for that benefits money at the Queen’s Young Leaders Programme Launch in London on July 10th.